Boy, what a weekend.  I took Ashley back to FC to meet the fam and they think she is the shiz.  The theme for our visit was Reid's confirmation.  Seeing as lists are the hot new trend I thought I'd have a go at it.

Ravi struck at 14:36

I still gaz for Tool...  just incase anyone had doubts.  Mastodon are writing a new album.  Mmmm.

Ravi struck at 21:15

You know, out-spoken pro-lifers kind of rub me the wrong way.  But when they are toting giant photos of the grizzliest fetuses they can find and cruising around in Truth Trucks they tend to get a chuckle out of me.  I mean, really, guys.  That's a little over the top.  You could just vote for some douchebag.  I was standing at an intersection and one of these exet.nu-surfing assholes says to me, "Four thousand Americans die every day."  I wanted to say, "Don't you have to be born on American soil to be an American?" but I didn't.  I just gave him my 'fuck you' face and went on my way.  Then I turned the corner and BAM, giant underdeveloped skull missing its mandible.

Ravi struck at 12:44

I just made two important phone calls concerning job opportunities.  The first was for a position called Trail Trekkers Head Instructor.  This is where I would take junior high kids on expeditions and field trips.  I hope I get that one.  I would even get Fridays off.  The second, however, is something that I have never hoped harder for.  A brief job description:

Ravi struck at 16:13

So, my balls have periodically been hurting since Monday. Last night my left one decided to idle at a constant annoyance, so I decided to take initiative. Allow me to summarize today's events:

Robby calls student health clinic
RECEPTIONIST: Sup?
ME: Listen here, bitch. Somethin' ain't right with my junk.
REC: Eleven o'clock?
ME: No. Two.
REC: Aight.
Robby goes to the clinic
REC: Fill this shit out.
ME: Word.
Robby fills out a form and is summoned by the nurse. Robby waits. Doctor busts the fuck in.
DOCTOR: Let me feel that junk. Piss in this.
ME: No doubt.
DOC: Ain't nothin' wrong witch yo ass. Get up outta here.

They told me to wear a jock strap, take Ibuprofen, and get "testicular rest." I think that equates to watching season six of The Sopranos all at once.

Possible causes of this ailment:

• Too many push-ups
• A dog ran up to me and punched me in the balls last Sunday. I caught balls-rabies AKA lockballs
• I am getting a kidney stone, thus inheriting undesirable trait #2 from my father
• I am gay and my body is retaliating against Ashley
• I have been standing too close to the microwave
• Aliens

Ravi struck at 17:36

Brace yourselves. I have managed to begirlfriend somebody. Weird, huh? Yeah, I know.

We have been finding out that this was something both parties had been trying to accomplish for a little while now. Well, it finally happened a few days ago. Robby is a happy camper. Really tired, but that's quite alright.

Being the constantly humming and guitar-strumming guy I am, I'm sure I'll crank out a love song one of these days. I don't know if you guys really want to hear that, but you probably will anyway. You know, tell it from a mountain and whatnot.

Ravi struck at 11:57

I can do things with my voice currently that I would really like to be able to do thirty, forty years from now. This is why I have decided to attempt to part myself from from those cigarettes. Well, regular consumption, anyway. Let's be realistic, if you offer me one, I'll take it. I am getting really close to accomplishing this, but there is one thing that still gives me nasty cravings: poetry. Specifically, critiquing poetry. Goddamn it, my trachea is hungry right now. I think I will have better success when my academic contempt lessens.

Ravi struck at 14:29

I have recently been filling the gaps in my 60's music, and oh my god, are The Mamas & the Papas the bomb-diggity.  I need to start a TM+TP cover band.  I don't know where I'm going to find two mamas and a papa, but I'm sure they're out there.  In the mean time, I'll just have to be groovy enough for the four of us.  While I'm on the subject, I might as well mention that I am pretty sure I would make it in the 60's.  If I were somehow transported back, I think I would adjust quite easily.  Just saying.

Ravi struck at 01:39