Saturday, March 25, 2006
Don'ts of heating up M&M's
Do not put M&M's in the microwave for any longer than 15 seconds. If M&M's are burned, they wreak*. And, of course, they all stick together and form one big burning ball of chocolate stinky.
I feel that I would be doing an injustice by failing to inform you of the following:
It may seem like a good idea to throw some M&M's in with the coffee in your filter as you are about to make a batch of joe. DON'T DO IT. The following things will happen:
*Not "Wreak," as in "To inflict damage." I meant "Reek."
It may seem like a good idea to throw some M&M's in with the coffee in your filter as you are about to make a batch of joe. DON'T DO IT. The following things will happen:
- The melted M&M's will clog the shit out of the coffee maker. You will experience serious backup and will have to remove the filter with a team of forks and spoons.
- Since the chocolate didn't get melted enough, only the candy coating part has seeped its way into your java.
- The coffee itself will resemble a very thick au jus. The melted candy coating will look like the bubbles of oil or fat that you would find in a pool of chicken grease.
- If you let it sit for long enough, white hunks of mystery will start floating to the top (I can only assume this is the cooling candy coating)
- If you let it sit for even longer, a huge chunk of white will surface. If you chewed up some crackers and spit it into the coffee, it would look pretty damn close to whatever this substance was. I mean, there wasn't enough candy coating to spawn such an offensive berg. Where did it come from?!
- You will be grossed out.
*Not "Wreak," as in "To inflict damage." I meant "Reek."
Ravi struck at 01:38
