I just took one of those dumps that stretches one's anus to its limits.  It's the kind where you stand up, see it, and go, "Wow, no wonder that hurt."  I expelled a 15 inch summer sausage in about four seconds.  It was robust, too.  Didn't even break on the way down.  In the stall I saw a newspaper whose headline read, "McCoy shows he's the real."  Come on, guys.  The Summit wouldn't stoop that low.

Ravi struck at 11:01