Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I hate babies
I just had one of the craziest carried-over-from-one-sleep-to-the-next dreams I have had in a long time.
Noah Parks, Sarah, and I were sitting around in my dorm room. Sarah gave us cookies baked with some psychedelic substance I had never heard of (one that I completely made up) and told us that we could not put anything else in our lungs that day. Mine was stamped with the old Nintendo logo but instead of Nintendo it said, "Dragonforce." After a couple of those I was stumbling around the room and I kept falling over and I eventually stayed down.
I woke up and went back to sleep.
I found myself in my old garage, this time only with Noah Parks. Sarah had told us earlier to meet her in the Lewellen's basement for something. We went over and noticed that there were screaming babies and running lawnmowers in the Methodist parking lot so we quickly retreated. When we got back to my old garage David and Daniel were in it. Almost immediately, I started arguing with them about how little I care about Cory's new car. Sarah reappeared out of nowhere and asked Noah and I why we did not go to the meeting. We told her,
"We saw babies and lawnmowers, so we quickly got out of there." She didn't seem to care very much.
I woke up and went back to sleep.
I found myself (I am not sure If I was on foot or in a vehicle) in a completely frozen, overcrowded, and greatly expanded Best Buy parking lot. I spent what seemed like a very long time trying to get out of it. There were people everywhere just standing or wandering. Furniture and huge cabinets were being piled all over the place. When I finally got out of there I was magically transported to the lot I park my car in now, down by the field house. As I was getting out I found my wool socks (which I was looking for in real life).
It was then 2:00 in the afternoon and I found myself in front of the Lewellen residence once again. I looked down and right underneath the door was a half finished Snickers bar (which I had apparently left there a previous day) and ate it. Once I got inside I noticed an office chair, so I put it outside next to Mike's bike. As soon as I stepped into the living room I heard the door open, but much to my surprise it was Sarah and a man I had never seen. He had very dark, black hair and intensely red lips; very much like a Guess Who? character. They brought in two huge cases (they actually looked like amps) full of bondage equipment.
I was then flashed into not-present-just-an-onlooking-entity mode. I saw a woman (some new person who didn't enter the house while I was there) dressed in all kinds of S&M leather hanging in a really awkward way from the ceiling of the dining area. She was, however, totally loving it. She even said so, not to mention her vagina was moving in a very, very, very strange manner; a good thing, right?
For the last act Sarah, Guess Who? guy, and I were in the upstairs part of my old house. Guess Who? dude was naked, sitting in a chair between my room and my dad's room, and smoking a BIG Pall Mall cigarette, Sarah was just outside of Reid's room dressed in S&M leather, I was standing in the bathroom, and the crazy bondage rig was again hanging from the ceiling. Somehow only half an hour had passed since I entered the Lewellen house. I said to the two of them, "Look. We've got two hours until my dad comes home and we need to move this stuff." They looked at each other and Sarah gave me some ridiculous explanation involving a lot of numbers, saying why we couldn't move the stuff to her apartment. I went over to Guess Who? man and said,
"You wanna put that out, man?"
"I suppose I could do that for a friend." I took the Pall Mall from him and put it out in the bathroom trash can.
[Insert memory lapse here]
The two of them were in my dad's room throwing all his clothes out of his dresser. I was distraught.
"What are you doing?!" Sarah calmly looked at me.
"Looking for change."
"I have a change jar in my dorm room."
"Oh."
"Put everything back the way you found it. Have you guys eaten yet?"
I woke up. The end.
I realized one thing: I have not once dreamed about my new house, only my dorm room and my old house. And Sarah, I unconsciously discovered that you are a dominatrix in secret. You might as well be open about it now, sorry if I ruined your double-life.
Noah Parks, Sarah, and I were sitting around in my dorm room. Sarah gave us cookies baked with some psychedelic substance I had never heard of (one that I completely made up) and told us that we could not put anything else in our lungs that day. Mine was stamped with the old Nintendo logo but instead of Nintendo it said, "Dragonforce." After a couple of those I was stumbling around the room and I kept falling over and I eventually stayed down.
I woke up and went back to sleep.
I found myself in my old garage, this time only with Noah Parks. Sarah had told us earlier to meet her in the Lewellen's basement for something. We went over and noticed that there were screaming babies and running lawnmowers in the Methodist parking lot so we quickly retreated. When we got back to my old garage David and Daniel were in it. Almost immediately, I started arguing with them about how little I care about Cory's new car. Sarah reappeared out of nowhere and asked Noah and I why we did not go to the meeting. We told her,
"We saw babies and lawnmowers, so we quickly got out of there." She didn't seem to care very much.
I woke up and went back to sleep.
I found myself (I am not sure If I was on foot or in a vehicle) in a completely frozen, overcrowded, and greatly expanded Best Buy parking lot. I spent what seemed like a very long time trying to get out of it. There were people everywhere just standing or wandering. Furniture and huge cabinets were being piled all over the place. When I finally got out of there I was magically transported to the lot I park my car in now, down by the field house. As I was getting out I found my wool socks (which I was looking for in real life).
It was then 2:00 in the afternoon and I found myself in front of the Lewellen residence once again. I looked down and right underneath the door was a half finished Snickers bar (which I had apparently left there a previous day) and ate it. Once I got inside I noticed an office chair, so I put it outside next to Mike's bike. As soon as I stepped into the living room I heard the door open, but much to my surprise it was Sarah and a man I had never seen. He had very dark, black hair and intensely red lips; very much like a Guess Who? character. They brought in two huge cases (they actually looked like amps) full of bondage equipment.
I was then flashed into not-present-just-an-onlooking-entity mode. I saw a woman (some new person who didn't enter the house while I was there) dressed in all kinds of S&M leather hanging in a really awkward way from the ceiling of the dining area. She was, however, totally loving it. She even said so, not to mention her vagina was moving in a very, very, very strange manner; a good thing, right?
For the last act Sarah, Guess Who? guy, and I were in the upstairs part of my old house. Guess Who? dude was naked, sitting in a chair between my room and my dad's room, and smoking a BIG Pall Mall cigarette, Sarah was just outside of Reid's room dressed in S&M leather, I was standing in the bathroom, and the crazy bondage rig was again hanging from the ceiling. Somehow only half an hour had passed since I entered the Lewellen house. I said to the two of them, "Look. We've got two hours until my dad comes home and we need to move this stuff." They looked at each other and Sarah gave me some ridiculous explanation involving a lot of numbers, saying why we couldn't move the stuff to her apartment. I went over to Guess Who? man and said,
"You wanna put that out, man?"
"I suppose I could do that for a friend." I took the Pall Mall from him and put it out in the bathroom trash can.
[Insert memory lapse here]
The two of them were in my dad's room throwing all his clothes out of his dresser. I was distraught.
"What are you doing?!" Sarah calmly looked at me.
"Looking for change."
"I have a change jar in my dorm room."
"Oh."
"Put everything back the way you found it. Have you guys eaten yet?"
I woke up. The end.
I realized one thing: I have not once dreamed about my new house, only my dorm room and my old house. And Sarah, I unconsciously discovered that you are a dominatrix in secret. You might as well be open about it now, sorry if I ruined your double-life.
Ravi struck at 17:29
Friday, February 23, 2007
Ghost Rider
Sarah and I went to Ghost Rider last night... and I just... It was so fucking bad, like, the worst thing I've seen in a theatre since King Kong, but I totally loved it. It was the kind of movie where you write the first half, which is made up of a disgusting amount of foreshadowing and all kinds of one liners which will be repeated in different contexts, and then in the second half fulfill EVERY prophecy you have set in place. The only other way I can express just how bad this movie was, is that if Ryan ever sees it he going to have a fit. Such a fit... Imagine Nicholas Cage from Con Air, just as southern, but dumber, and wearing the stupidest sunglasses I have ever seen (kind of like the hilarious ones Eric had for awhile) WITH a cowboy hat. There is one part in the movie that contains such a painfully blatant "You killed my father," moment that it just makes me want to shit. But, yeah, I loved it. But goddamn, was it awful.
Ravi struck at 17:12
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Tiggolbitties
I turned a corner today and came face to face with someone bearing an odd, large, black mark on their forehead. To be honest, it startled me quite a bit. I wondered for the life of me where this person came from. I then remembered that yesterday was Fat Tuesday. Today is Ash Wednesday. So, I did not run into something unusual or interesting. Just Jesus. He's a sneaky one, that Christ.
Ravi struck at 12:13
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Fear not, the diva has arrived
I have just experienced some of the most active social interaction to date, here at Waldorf. For a good portion of my day I was with James, who is fucking insane. After chatting it up with Peter Eggebraaten for awhile, the night really started to heat up.
It may not sound like much, but I just engaged in a six player game of Heart Throb. Heart Throb, for those new to the concept, is a game in which you try to guess your opponents' top choice out of three boys . What made the game interesting was that one of the players turned out to be a homophobe. He actually told us this. Nobody else had known it either, so we got to watch him play in agony. We also received many shameful glances from our very, very straight floor-mates. After the game, Scott was teaching James (these two are somewhat enemies, but not open about it with each other) how to knife fight. Scott was definitely getting all up in James' grill with some drum sticks (knives) which eventually scared him out of the room after stuff was thrown around in our small space filled with breakable things. Scott and I then decided that our game of Heart Throb was pretty much like good sex so we went out to smoke some new Camel No. 9's, which are awful, but also hot pink and teal.
Great story, huh...
It may not sound like much, but I just engaged in a six player game of Heart Throb. Heart Throb, for those new to the concept, is a game in which you try to guess your opponents' top choice out of three boys . What made the game interesting was that one of the players turned out to be a homophobe. He actually told us this. Nobody else had known it either, so we got to watch him play in agony. We also received many shameful glances from our very, very straight floor-mates. After the game, Scott was teaching James (these two are somewhat enemies, but not open about it with each other) how to knife fight. Scott was definitely getting all up in James' grill with some drum sticks (knives) which eventually scared him out of the room after stuff was thrown around in our small space filled with breakable things. Scott and I then decided that our game of Heart Throb was pretty much like good sex so we went out to smoke some new Camel No. 9's, which are awful, but also hot pink and teal.
Great story, huh...
Ravi struck at 02:16
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
This song is about heros
I saw Mastodon. They were super tight. They totally played Circle of Cysquatch. They put on a very manly show. Go see them some time.
As a few of you may have noticed, I recently appointed Eric as an officer (Tormented by the curse of Tom Hunt) in my Facebook group, I Hate Waldorf. It seems as though this act has turned the curse on me as well. In my Artistic Expression class today Tom Hunt asked the question, "Has anyone here ever written a song?" I was one of two people to raise a hand, the other claiming to have written some rap lyrics. Because of this I will be teaching a few minutes of the class next Monday explaining song structure, along with playing a song for the class. I saw this as an opportunity to make more Myspace friends, so I agreed to take the assignment without hesitation.
O.K., get this... I have a job and it actually takes place inside. That's right, I am a member of the phonorama team. I call people and ask them if they would be interested in contributing to Waldorf's annual fund. This year we have great news. Brad Anderson, a Waldorf graduate who is now the CEO of Best Buy, will match every dollar we raise up to $500,000 if received by May 31. No? Would you like for us to send you a return envelope just in case you reconsider? No? Thank you for your time.
As a few of you may have noticed, I recently appointed Eric as an officer (Tormented by the curse of Tom Hunt) in my Facebook group, I Hate Waldorf. It seems as though this act has turned the curse on me as well. In my Artistic Expression class today Tom Hunt asked the question, "Has anyone here ever written a song?" I was one of two people to raise a hand, the other claiming to have written some rap lyrics. Because of this I will be teaching a few minutes of the class next Monday explaining song structure, along with playing a song for the class. I saw this as an opportunity to make more Myspace friends, so I agreed to take the assignment without hesitation.
O.K., get this... I have a job and it actually takes place inside. That's right, I am a member of the phonorama team. I call people and ask them if they would be interested in contributing to Waldorf's annual fund. This year we have great news. Brad Anderson, a Waldorf graduate who is now the CEO of Best Buy, will match every dollar we raise up to $500,000 if received by May 31. No? Would you like for us to send you a return envelope just in case you reconsider? No? Thank you for your time.