Thursday, May 29, 2008
Down doesn't help, close your mouth
I was eating cereal. Ryan made me laugh and some got into that part of my sinus where food isn't supposed to be. I later sneezed cereal all over myself. Twice. Then blew my nose to find even more. Be careful with raisin bran and poop jokes. I guess you'd be fine if poop jokes didn't strike you as funny. If that's the case fuck you, eat all the raisin bran you want.
Ravi struck at 01:26
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I have come to the conclusion that sleeping alone is really not preferable at all. Bedmates are much better. And warmer.
Ravi struck at 13:16
Friday, May 16, 2008
My hair looks really good today
Tonight I am to attend a party where I will be given a free beer cup if I am dressed as Batwoman. No qualms there. I'll have free beer and tits (story of my life). I only hope that there will be many Batwomen, not just the one dude nobody knows (me).
My allergies are getting really bad. I broke out in hives a couple days ago. Weak, dude.
Ravi struck at 08:43
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Ich ben ein Berliner!
I really like watching animals behave. A lot. Yesterday I observed two ducks chillin' in somebody's driveway. They didn't care if someone walked within a few feet of them as long as that person was on their way somewhere else. But when I stopped and looked at them they seemed a little self-conscious. I'd get close to them and they would walk away. They wouldn't run, just keep a few feet between us. They'd honk quietly so as to say, "Dude, quit it. What do you want? You're buggin' me, man."
I got up at 4:00 this morning after sleeping for nearly ten hours by accident (mostly). That felt strange.
I really need to learn how to put eye drops in my own eyes. I have to have Ashley do it for me. I don't know, man, I just can't do it. It's, like, gonna hit my eye ball and it freaks me out.
I still have this spot under my chin that is just as innocent as it was the day I was born. I don't think hair will ever grow there. I saw a guy with this same characteristic the other day. I thought, "Right on, brother. Wear the chin strap proudly." I do, however, have one chest hair. I don't know how long it's been there, but it complements my moles quite nicely.
My girlfriend is going to Serbia for two months. I can only hope that she is not seduced by some mysterious Serbian prince. I'm mysterious, but I'm no Serb. And I'm only a duke.
Ravi struck at 14:46
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Hwæt!
Remember how I was talking about picking up Old English? And you know how 98% of my future plans posted here are total bullshit? Well, that one is actually happening. I'm still trying to work out that ebonics independent study, but it is definitely at least goin' down in ye olde pub. I'm going to sound like a total badass in due time; awesome, or "egelsic," as the Geats would have said. Nigga, Hwa!