After nearly two years of marijuana use I had not had a single migraine until last night. When I started smoking I promised myself I would always have an emergency stash in the event of a migraine. It had been so long since I had had one and I forgot that I ever had a migraine problem. After all this time feeling good about knowing I had found a medicine I could count on, the myg struck during a dry spell. Allow me to describe what I was feeling last night through a story about a rabid chainsaw serial killer.

I was walking home and I decided to take a short cut through a dark alley (not trying harder to get weed/failing to maintain an emergency stash). As I walked farther into the darkness I could have sworn I was hearing footsteps. I told myself I was imagining things. This was not possible. I had not been attacked by a serial killer in two years. That did not happen anymore. But, as the minutes passed the footsteps became louder. I now knew that there was a threat. Despite the disbelief and anxiety, I knew I had to act fast (blurred vision). I readied my can of mase and felt the pistol at my side. I was ready to face my demise (the pointless use of painkillers and ice packs). I turned to face the predator behind me, who was still quite a distance away, but I knew there was no use in running. I recognized this silhouette as a creature which could chase down and tackle a Greyhound bus. So, I stand there awaiting my horrific pummelling (crawling into bed with my ice pack). The figure is near now, and I can smell it. As my slayer starts to emerge from the shadows, I pull out my pistol and fire (having a piece and no pot). It is empty. "Fuck. Oh, Fuck. I don't have any bullets!" (Exactly those words, but "weed" instead of "bullets").

I don't know why I carry mase, really. I know for a fact that whatever is about to destroy me is impervious to it. Sometimes it seems that when I use it, the motherfucker enjoys itself even more, that sadistic fucking twisted genetically inherited son of a bitch. This is the point where I experience the most pain I can possibly feel. Wisdom teeth? Fuck that. Twisted ankle? Get out of here. I have never been stabbed, but I am going to go ahead and say with confidence that I would take that any day over one my migraines. Yeah, with stabbing there's the bleeding and possible stitches: worth it. I'd rather enter the octagon than have a migraine. It would end abruptly, at least. It would be better than writhing in agony for three hours.

For fuck's sake, legalize marijuana.

Ravi struck at 14:48

Capes of Lead have been included (for approximately one second) toward the end of the new BOTF promo video. No, I am not gloating. I watched it, and it makes me feel slightly awkward. The song playing in the background goes, "You got me and Jesus." Who pops up in sync with the word, "Jesus?" That would be us. Maybe it's a sign. I never thought I would be in something so blatantly Christian . Sure, we knew what we were doing when we agreed to participate in BOTF, but this video... I mean, you can't even see our faces, but we're in it. They picked the most cringe-worthy songs to back this thing... If you feel like getting grossed out, get pumped for Bash '07.
If you want to come watch us have nothing to do with Jesus, swing on by Iowa City on the 26th. Should be fun.

Ravi struck at 01:16