Last monday I had the day (and the following day) wide open. The weather was splendid, 70 high and 50 low. A perfect time to go on a short backpacking trip, yeah? So I cruised down to Stephens State Forest. I was on the gravel road with forest in sight, feelin' groovy, when my driver's side front wheel FELL OFF. It flew into the opposing ditch and down the hill while I skidded to a three-wheeled stop. I got out and thought, "Okay. Apparently I am missing five lug-nuts. FUCK." I collected my rogue tire (rendered flat by the weight of my SUV) and stood there, looking at my car. My first impulse was to start making phone calls. The Martin family received a string of "Hey, I don't know how much you can help me out here, but this shitty thing just happened," messages. When in this type of situation I talk to myself. I have a distinct memory of, "You have got to be kidding me. How am I supposed to change... a tire... without any FUCKING LUG-NUTS?!" As though He heard me, a dude in a truck pulled up minutes later.

"You need any help?"

"Not unless you have spare lug-nuts."

"I've got some of those back home, I'll be back in a few minutes."

And sure enough, they fit and I was able to attach my spare tire. If that dude hadn't come along, I would have been in deep shit. Or at least wasted a whole day looking for some goddamn lug-nuts.

If you get your tires rotated, tighten that shit up yourself when you get home.